Last Post of 2008!

Are you ready for this stupid year to be over? I am. So get the hell out of here, 2008; don’t let the door hit you on the ass on your way out. I actually can’t believe that 2008 is gone – I remember being a kid and time seemed to goooo bbyyyyyyyy sssssoooooooooooo ssssllllllooooowwwwwwwlllllyyyyyyyyyyyyyy…and now (that I’ve probably gotten Alzheimer’s as a result of extreme boredom; see previous blog) time sms to go bi 2 qwik. I can’t fathom that I’ve been in Southern California for over four years now – what the hell??? So, for those of you who haven’t been reading my blog (or who have just been reading about the good times), here’s a little recap of my 2008 for you (in no particular order):

  • Teddy Bear is still alive. Slower, more insane, more needy, more apt to urinate on the carpet, and apparently immortal. I suspect that he is surviving by consuming my soul and happiness.
  • I spent vast quantities of money to keep Zoe going. She seems to be happy and active.
  • Related to the above, I pretty much broke even in my attempts to work down my debt. I haven’t really decreased it, but haven’t really added to it either.
  • I only noticed about half a dozen visits by the cops to my apartment complex. This ‘hood is really cleaning itself up!
  • My ceiling collapsed zero times.
  • I failed (yet again) to procure an acceptable boyfriend, as all men in SoCal are either gay, taken, or total assholes.
  • I developed secret crushes on my cat’s vet and one of the vet techs, at two different offices. Zoe has all the luck! However, there are complications which prevent me from pursuing either of these as potential relationships (see above point).
  • I watched my arch-nemesis perfect her rimming skills and be rewarded for it with a promotion and office upgrade.
  • I devised an airtight excuse to visit Las Vegas.
  • I managed to lose almost 15 lbs, which includes the mole I had removed from my face.
  • Although, in the past week I probably gained about five of those pounds back (but the mole is still gone, so I’m psyched about that).
  • I perfected the fine art of applying liquid liner to my upper eyelid, with the results not completely appearing as if I stayed up for three days smoking crack with Amy Winehouse (see new year’s resolution discussion, below). Additionally, my hair finally realized that I mean business when it comes to straightening, armed with a split-end inducing arsenal of flat irons and straightening gels.
  • My brother spawned, so that alleviates the need for me to breed in order to make a genetic contribution to future generations. Ok, so I realize that it’s my brother’s kid which means that my genes will not be represented as much as if it was my kid, but I don’t have to get pregnant and squeeze a small human out of my vag. So it’s a fair trade-off, I think.
  • With minimal effort and a little bit of practical application, I vastly improved my nick-name generating and limerick-writing skills (just try me sometime…).

That’s all I can think of for now. Actually, that’s not completely true – I can think of a lot more. But I don’t want to rehash ALL the super fun times I had; I’d like to keep many of those moments private, just for me to own. Anyone have any resolutions? I’m generally against those – “I resolve to lose weight, stop drinking, quell my road rage, kick the crack habit, etc.” But this year I think I’ve come up with a good one – I’m going to stop eating factory farmed meat. I haven’t really eaten red meat in over ten years (with the exception of critters that friends have hunted, or that was raised organic and free range – yeah, buffalo, I’m talking about you), but it will be difficult to cut out the chicken and turkey. I’ll eat it occasionally if I can get the free range variety, and I’ll still eat fish. But I just can’t stomach (literally) anymore the thought of supporting those massive henhouses that cramp chickens in shoebox-sized cages for their entire lives. I think my decision was made when I saw the video of Sarah Palin at the turkey slaughterhouse, with turkeys getting killed right behind her, saying she was having a “great time”. Blech.

Anyway, happy new year, y’all. Have a good one.

New Study Links Early Onset Alzheimer’s to Extreme Boredom

A new study, conducted by the National Senility Institute, has revealed shocking new evidence that extreme boredom may lead to the early onset of Alzheimer’s disease. Under the most severe conditions, symptoms can start to show as early as age thirty in some patients. While only preliminary studies have been completed, the groundwork is set for more in-depth investigations as to the reasons why boredom can cause senility, progressing eventually to Alzheimer’s disease. Brain atrophy, a common result of chronic boredom, is thought to be the primary mechanism for advances in memory loss and dementia.

Marci Karski, NSI’s only study subject in the pilot studies to date, has exhibited startling signs of memory loss, a recent lack of creativity, an inability to utilize any kind of vocabulary other than rudimentary sentence formations, and a tendency to drool. “I started to worry, you know, because, like, I can’t think good anymore. I used to be kinda smart and stuff,” Karski lamented. Upon urging from colleagues and family, Karski decided to contact NSI for an evaluation.

Fortunately, NSI had been studying the effects of boredom on the human brain for quite some time. Preliminary investigations have revealed that extreme boredom (defined, in part, as sitting on one’s ass for up to 8 hours per day in front of a desk while performing tasks that don’t feel useful or fulfilling) can account for up to 75 percent of the variability exhibited by early onset dementia symptoms. Other contributing lifestyle factors may include excessive exposure to reality television, constantly whining geriatric dogs, and “not getting any”. Unfortunately, Karski faces all of these risks on a daily basis, so it is difficult to isolate which of these confounding factors may be primary causes for dementia, as opposed to just a minor pain in the ass.

“I’m hopeful that the NSI will find a cure for my disease,” Karski stated. “Maybe some day I’ll be able to think good again, and like, do stuff. Wait – who are you again? Where am I? What the hell are you talking about?”

For further information regarding this study, or to participate in future investigations pertaining to senility and boredom, contact the NSI and use trial code “I don’t want to end up like Karski” for the study reference.

A great start to a fabulous Labor Day weekend…

Saturday:
6:07 am – wake up call from Zoe meowing and demanding food
9:30 am – phone call with friend Brenda in Minnesota, learned the meaning of the word “gitchy”
10:42 am – drive Zoe to Acacia for her monthly catupuncture session
12:24 pm – finally leave Acacia after learning that Zoe has lost 3/4 lb. (down to 5.4 lbs) and opting for a full panel blood test
1:09 pm – arrive at Joanne’s to figure out what to sew for class; pick out easy pattern for a closet organizer and black fabric featuring skulls and roses
1:54 pm – scarf down a chicken pita pocket prior to sewing class
2:00 pm – sewing class starts
3:14 pm – realize that I fucked up and cut large strips of fabric only half the width they were supposed to be
3:16 pm – realize that I knew I was going to fuck up and breathe a sigh of relief that I had purchased lots of extra matching fabric
4:42 pm – leave sewing class a little early
5:00 pm – walk into apartment as vet calls, telling me that Zoe’s blood sugar is extremely high and that she’s definitely diabetic and that she needs to get to California Vet Specialists asap for insulin
5:42 pm – arrive at CVS with Mom and a very pissed off Zoe
8:17 pm – finally leave CVS with Mom and even more pissed off Zoe, who has had an insulin shot and been taken off her cancer meds, along with instructions to come back Sunday morning for another blood glucose check
9:08 pm – give up on finding anything good on tv, read in bed, sleep

Sunday:
7:02 am – wake up call from Zoe, feed her food she doesn’t want to eat
8:17 am – take Zoe back to CVS
10:30 am – retrieve Zoe from CVS, who has been given fluids and instructions to come back again on Monday for another recheck
Current time – blog blog blog, realizing that I spent almost $600 on Zoe’s medical needs in the past 24 hours

Stay tuned for more excitement!

The Aftermath

Ok, so I just added several blog entries about my dad and stepmom’s visit to see me in San Diego. But they are listed in reverse order, so you have to scroll down a few entries and read up. If you haven’t read them already, do so now.

*________________________________________________*

Are you done? Good. So the results were: 1) I had a great time while the folks were here, and really enjoyed seeing them and most of San Diego county; and 2) I got dreadfully sick with an evil virus the day after they left. I wasn’t feeling too good before they arrived, but Thursday night I had a fever, and I left work early on Friday. I spent all of Saturday, Sunday, Monday, and Tuesday on the couch watching daytime TV. I didn’t think I could get sick of that, but did I ever. The quality of daytime programming has really gone downhill – too much Tyra, not enough CHiPs. But to be fair, can there ever be enough 1970’s Eric Estrada in highway patrol uniform garb? Maybe so. But I digress. I’m feeling better today, but decided to stay home to recoup a little more and get some real rest (and blog). Pictured below are my new best friends from the past few days:

Oh, and if you’re sick and haven’t tried them – Puffs Plus with Vicks is the best. Kleenex with lotion and menthol scent? Woo hoo!!!

Three and a half days of sick leave: 14 weeks of work to make up for it (for real, since I earn four hours of sick leave for every two weeks worked).
Getting reimbursed for my doctor’s visit copay and all the medicine I bought with my Flexible Spending Account: Priceless (actually, it sums to $50.50, but who’s counting?).

Another Apartment Nightmare – NOT a Halloween Story!

I wish this was a Halloween tale; alas, this is just the horrific story of my life on Morning View Drive. Last week we were informed that all of the pipes in each building are going to be replaced. So, we were to secure our valuables, have our pets contained, and move everything out of the bathroom and under the kitchen cabinets so that the plumbers could access the necessary areas. Luckily, Mark was here this past week – I got a call on Monday from the landlady that they wanted to enter my apartment and start work that day. So, Mark moved all my stuff into the living room. When I got home, I saw that this was going to be a lot more disruptive than originally anticipated – check it out:

My dining area; workers were supposed to be done by 4:30 each day, but were there until about 6:00. They moved all their crap out of the way, but all my furniture had to be shoved into the living room for about a week.

My bathroom – everything was moved into the living room. They took down the only mirror I have in the apartment!

My living room. Where’s the couch??? How do I get to the litter boxes??? What the hell is going on here???

Anyway, I think the plumbing is done now. I think this week they will be patching the holes that were cut in the bathroom, dining room, and kitchen, then painting the whole thing. At some point they’ll be coming in to clean the carpets, replace faucets and sinks, and the ceiling fan. At least, that’s what I’ve been told. I told the landlady – gee, all these renovations are great, but I’m living here. What a pain! And, my rent will be going up. Surprise, surprise.

Yeah, I’ve been busy (and tired)

I know, it has been a long time since I’ve updated my blog. But really, it was pretty much just pictures from Jes’ wedding and my trip to San Francisco that I wanted to post. Work has been very busy the last couple of months now that David is back as my supervisor, and when I get home I pretty much just want to chill. But there’s still a couple things going on – the first thing would be my cat, Zoe. She’s 13, and people tell me that’s old for a cat, but I disagree that it’s old for Zoe. But, over the past year I’ve been noticing that she’s been losing some weight – getting very bony and skinny. So last weekend I brought her to the vet – she lost 2 lbs over the past year (which is a lot, considering how tiny she is), so they took some blood to run a full panel, and also took some urine for a urinalysis. Zoe was not happy about it, and enjoyed even less the vet force-feeding her a deworming pill (it took 2 vets about 10 minutes of fighting to get a 6.9 lb cat to eat one pill). The urinalysis showed some blood in her urine, so I have to give her antibiotics twice a day for about two weeks (ask me how much Zoe likes that). The blood could just be an infection, but it could also indicate other problems with the kidneys or bladder. But, her blood panel turned out good, except for her thyroid, which looked borderline high. So, they sent for another test – negative for hyperthyroid. So, last weekend cost me about $350. I went back yesterday with Zoe – they took x-rays and didn’t see anything wrong, except that she has no body fat, which makes her organs difficult to see. But no kidney or bladder stones, or major tumors were evident. The vet suggested another specialized blood test to check for pancreatic function and malabsorption – I’ll get the results back on that this week. It was still too soon to see if she still has blood in her urine because she’s only been on the antibiotics for a week. The bottom line is that I’ve spent almost $600 and I still don’t know what’s wrong with my kitty. She’s acting normal and everything – she may just be getting old. I don’t know, but she’s my buddy and I’m not quite ready to accept that she’s at the age where stuff starts to go wrong.

Speaking of going wrong, oh, Teddy Bear. He really is getting old. A couple of times in the past month, as we’ve been out walking, he’s pulled himself so hard on his leash that he starts choking, falls over, and then has a hard time using his back legs. I don’t know if it’s a seizure or what, but he’s still his normal annoying self, so it’s hard to say. Today I noticed that one of his yucky back teeth is loose – I hope it falls out so that I don’t have to take *him* to the vet again! Last time we went it was also very expensive.

And speaking of expensive, let’s talk about my car. Last Friday I was on my way to work and I decided to stop and grab a sandwich for later. I was gone two minutes, came back to my car, and it wouldn’t start! I called AAA, who came out to tow me to my mechanic, and the car started right up. What’s up with that??? So, I drove it to my mechanic – turns out some dumb sensor in the starter was broken. That set me back about $150, but I guess it could’ve been worse.

Man, at the rate things are going, I’ll never have enough cash for a vacation!

Good things though – I finished the wrap top that I started sewing a few months ago, and made good progress on a skirt. So far, it’s awesome. I’ll probably finish it next year some time. Also, I’m getting back into my digital scrapbooking – I’m a little overwhelmed with Photoshop Elements, but I purchased an instructional CD that focuses on scrapbooking with Elements. It should be very helpful.

That’s it for now – I hope that’s enough. I’ll be in touch!

Fight! Fight!

Today I received complete confirmation that I do, in fact, live in the Ghetto with a capital G. At around 6:00 this evening I was sitting in front of the TV chowing down on my KFC, as that’s what people in the ghetto eat, when I heard all this yelling coming from the apartment right next to mine. I turned off the volume to the TV and started paying attention – the yelling increased, and then a woman started screaming her head off. It sounded violent enough (my apartment even shook a couple of times with all the throwing-of-various-heavy-objects that was happening next door) so I called the cops. I took the opportunity to act like real white trash and go out to my balcony and watch the scene. The screaming and yelling continued until six cop cars showed up (what else are the cops going to do on a Tuesday evening?). In about a minute they had four guys in handcuffs and had taser guns pointed at them and everything. The girl that had been screaming kept telling the police “it’s ok – they’re friends and they’re not fighting anymore. They’re just drunk…”, like the cops would go “oh, alright, I guess we can move on then, right boys?”. Anyway, they arrested one guy and he was totally messed up – I think he had been tossed down the concrete stairs because his back was covered in a bloody bruise, and his head had taken a beating too. I don’t know why the other guys weren’t taken in as well – they were bloody messes too, and they were all drunk and gangsta-y. Here’s some photo journalism for you, taken of the parking lot from my apartment. It’s just a few of the cop cars, but you get the idea.

On the plus side, I finally bought a REAL couch! It will be delivered on Saturday. Suede micro-fiber, full sized, overstuffed, with lots of comfy pillows. I hope no one shoots a gun through the wall and hits my new livingroom showpiece with a stray bullet. Good thing I got the 5-year fabric warranty…