Author Archives: Marci

March Madness – that’s Basketball, Right?

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Okay, so I don’t know sports. At. All. When my supervisor invited me to participate in the NCAA March Madness team pool, I had little idea what he was talking about. I figured it was probably basketball-related, but really, I needed some help with this. I asked a coworker to please explain: what is a bracket? What are the numbers next to each team? This is the game with the bouncing orange ball, yes? Greg was pretty patient with my questions, thankfully, and started to explain numerous ways of picking teams – you can go with the random fill, or use the formula that takes into account past statistics, or you can base it on what other brackets people have filled out, or even check out Vegas odds. In my mind though, these things are much too complicated and will probably have little to do with who actually wins, so I’ve decided to go with my own method: pitted against one another, which team mascot would win?

I know this isn’t a terribly novel approach, but I don’t think my picks were ultimately that bad. Let’s look at the results: Ohio State is clearly going to win the Midwest region because how can a buckeye lose? It’s a friggin’ nut. Those things are hard. If you chomp on them they will break your teeth, and I’ll bet that a cowboy or aggie or running rebel being pelted with a load of buckeyes would turn tail and run. Especially the running rebel (what a dumb mascot in the first place! If you’re a rebel, you’re not going to run, you’re going to stand your ground and fight). Ok, next, the Kansas State wildcats are going to take the West region because they are cats, and wild, so obviously they are the best. Yes, I know that there are panthers, cougars, and catamounts in this region, but the way I figure, the term “wildcat” includes all of these critters, and then-some. So easily, a pack of cats including lions, tigers, cougars, bobcats, lynx, and snow leopards is going to trounce any single predatory cat. So nice try, Pittsburgh, BYU, and Vermont – you can suck it! The Kentucky wildcats will dominate the East region based on the exact same logic, beating not one, but three teams of tigers (come on Clemson, Missouri, and Tennessee State – can we be a little more creative???). Finally, I predict that Purdue will win the South region because they are the boilermakers, and their mascot is a locomotive. And we know that a locomotive will completely demolish anything in its path, including spiders, blue devils, and the fighting Irish. Right?

So when you line up buckeyes vs. wildcats, I chose the Kansas State Wildcats to win (I know it goes a little against my original logic, but I’m a cat person), and between the boilermakers vs. Kentucky Wildcats, the locomotive has it. And overall, Purdue has got to be victorious. I know it’s sad, but what cat is going to be able to stand up against a locomotive? And do you remember the Soul Train train? That train was funky. Another reason for victory – power and funk.

Wow, I guess those Maryland Terrapins never really had a chance! So sad…but that’s what you get when you pick a wimpy team mascot.

Name that Mystery Ingredient!

Posted in Humor by

You might recall that in my previous post I mentioned we ate Sunday brunch at Joe’s Cellar Diner. Which is suspicious right away, since the diner is not in a cellar. It’s on the first floor of a corner building, well above-ground. So I’m not sure what the cellar refers to.

Unless, of course, it pertains to the storage of the main ingredient they use in their gravy. I ordered a side of it to go with my biscuit. It was very jiggly (like Jell-O), but instead of tasting fruity, it was savory. Remember that scene in “Better Off Dead” where John Cusack is sitting at the dinner table and his mom scoops up a blob of green goo and plops it onto his plate, then upon poking it with a fork, it slides off the plate all on its own as if it was off to destroy all in its path? It was kinda like that. Only less green and more peppery.

Look, it held up a spoon all on its own. My guess is that the mystery ingredient is plaster-of-paris. So now it’s interactive-blogging-time: what’s your guess? Submit your best speculation in a comment!

The Big Three-Six!

Posted in Entertainment, Friends and Family, Me Me Me!, Music and Dance by

Well, I know that turning 36 is a big deal for most people…it’s such a benchmark in one’s life…so when my friend Cecily from Denver wanted to come out for a visit over my birthday weekend I said “woo hoo! Let’s do it!”. And in fact, it was nice to see not just Cecily, but my friend Andrew from San Diego, and Chris (of course). It was an action-packed weekend, which I will attempt to briefly (or not so briefly, it’s all relative) fill you in on here.

Thursday morning (Feb. 25th, my birthday), Chris presented me with a very nice bottle of wine, two gorgeous hand-blown wine glasses, and a fabulous orange Jersey Shore towel (GTL, that’s what happens at the Jersey Shore, baby) (update: a week later he also gave me a purple/magenta dance top that I wanted – so thoughtful!). I had to go to work that day, which was also incredibly awesome (heh heh heh, rolling eyes now), but after work I met Chris at Melt on 21st right by my house for happy hour. Tasty tots and falafel sliders…yum! But that was just an appetizer really – we swung by the airport and picked up Cecily, whom I hadn’t seen since our adventure in the Chiricauhuas, Thanksgiving 2008 (check out pictures here). Of course, Cecily looked exactly the same as always. Chris researched a few dinner places and we ended up at Siam Society – tasty noodles and hand-ground curry all around. When we got back to my place Chris revealed that he had purchased an angel food cake from – wait for it – a bakery. No cheesy grocery store cake for me! It was soooo good – it had a very light buttercream frosting with raspberry glaze over it, and it even said Happy Birthday Marci on it! What a sweetheart Chris is…awww…

I decided to take Friday off so that Cecily and I could try to find trouble exploring the fine city of Portland. We hopped on the streetcar right outside my apartment, which we rode to Powell’s Books. I subsequently spent way too much money there, but then enjoyed some yummy pizza at Rocco’s for lunch. We then got back on the streetcar and rode it down to the aerial tram, which we rode all the way to the top of the hill – even though it was kind of rainy out, the view was still amazing. We rode the tram back down, got on the streetcar again, then looped around and did some shopping at Buffalo Exchange (start: the Great Fedora Quest). We eventually did the entire streetcar circuit, ending up back at my place mid-afternoon.

Chris picked us up and we drove back downtown where we met up with my friend Andrew, who I used to work with in San Diego. He was in town for a conference so it was good to see him; the four of us walked to Henry’s Tavern for dinner and a sampling of their amazing beer menu (over 100 taps!).

One of our prime objectives for Saturday was to find a fedora for Chris to wear that evening. We decided to hit a thrift store on Mississippi Avenue before my dance class, but alas – they were closed until noon. WTF??? Closed until noon on a Saturday? We waited at Fresh Pot in hopes of a surprise early opening, but that did not happen, so I outfitted Cecily in some bellydance garb and dragged her to my Beginning Neo-Tribal Bellydance 2 class. I think she may have been a bit nervous about it at first, but she has a strong dance background (ballet, tap, swing) so I knew she would have no problem…in fact, I envied her belly-roll skills! I just have belly rolls, no skills. But we had a good time there, nonetheless.

After class we met Chris on Hawthorne for some thrift store shopping. Cecily bought a dress for the evening, but even after scouring 3 stores, we couldn’t come up with a fedora. We did, however, eat a slllooooowwww lunch at Por Que No which was quite delish (albeit a little stressful since I had to scarf as soon as the food arrived so I wouldn’t get a parking ticket).

Cecily and I left Chris to come up with a fedora (and other outfit components) on his own, and later that afternoon, my brother Paul, Anne, and Adelaide came for a visit to my apartment. That kid sure is growing fast…and Abbey knows it (or as Adelaide calls her, “Dabby”). Clearly, the biggest draw for her in coming to my place is Dabby and the choo choo (aka the streetcar that runs down my street every 15 minutes).

The weekend highlight for me was definitely Saturday evening. I’ve alluded to us getting prepped for the night…and for good reason…I purchased tickets for me, Cecily, and Chris to go see The Royal Tease, a burlesque show at the Bossanova Ballroom on Burnside. We had reserved seating with dinner, so we decided to get all dressed up for the event. And as The Baroness says, “any occasion to dress is an occasion to over-dress”. Following that advice, I went over the top, wearing a flashy red cocktail dress, short black wig, and very high heels. Cecily looked smashing in her blue dress, and Chris rocked it with a fedora he purchased at a non-thrift store – it was a combination of leather and striped material – an excellent choice!

The performance was pretty fabulous, with lots of tassels, pasties, T, and of course, A. I think my favorite performers were Charlotte Treuse (amazing tattoos), and Inga Ingenue, who did a really cool toy doll routine and an incredible performance with two giant pink feather fans. The only bummer of the night was that we were supposed to get dessert with our dinner (red velvet cake and cinnamon gelato), but that part of the meal never showed up. And my vegetarian polenta was kinda barfy too, but Chris shared his pork loin and yams so it was all good.

The following day was the last of Cecily’s visit, as she had to hop on a plane first thing Monday morning to return to Denver. We enjoyed a nice(?) brunch at Joe’s Cellar diner (mmm…egg yolk!), the ambiance of which was moodily enhanced by a non-stop musical marathon exclusively featuring Queen and Led Zeppelin. Chris then drove us via the Columbia River Scenic Highway to Crown Point State Park where we stopped at the Vista House, then to Multnomah Falls. It was a gorgeous day so there were plenty of people there, but it gave us excellent photo opportunities. We ended up back at Chris’s house for dinner where he cooked up a delicious meal of home-made crab-cakes and put us up for the night (he lives closer to the airport than me). What a sweetheart!

I’m glad I have such good friends, and that they made my 36th birthday one to remember. If you want to see more pictures, click here. Thanks for hanging in there and reading this not-quite-so-brief blog entry!

Get it Right, Rogue!

Posted in Humor by

The poll results are in! 6 out of 8 people (75%) agree that if you are female you should use the “hops” restroom, and if you are male you should use the “barley” restroom. Which is what I think, too. In brewing, the floral part of the hops is used (I think), and flowers are generally associated with females since the flower contains the ovary…whereas barley is used in grain (or seed) form, which is more typically associated with males. But this is coming from a biologist. When the bartender at Rogue Brew House in Newport was queried, he responded that females correspond to barley because they are sweet, whereas males correspond to hops because they are bitter. However, I’ve known many people who exhibit the opposite gender stereotype. Therefore, I believe my biological reasoning for restroom designations to be superior and more accurate than the rationale used by Rogue. Ask any botanist and you will likely get a similar response. Me thinks Rogue will be soon be receiving a letter informing them of the results of this highly scientific poll!

Bacon Makes Everything Better!

Posted in Entertainment, Music and Dance by

Wow – what a great bellydance show at The Blue Monk on Saturday night! It was quite the turnout to see the Offbeat Bellydancers strut, shimmy, and shake their stuff – Chris and I had a great time, and it was awesome to see my instructor perform along with many other dancers. Everyone definitely had their own style, and I must say that the white Russians were tasty as well.

But you’re probably wondering where the bacon comes in, right? After the show, Chris and I were almost home when we decided to turn back around and head over to Voodoo Doughnut, a Portland institution that I had never been to before. We had to pay $8 for parking (“but the sign says $2 for the first half hour!” “Yes, but that will still be $8, Sir”) and wait in line for about a half hour, but we finally got our donuts and left post haste so that we could devour them in the privacy of my home. Oh – question: do they make hair nets for facial hair? Just wondering…

Anyway, Chris dared me, yes dared me, to get a maple bacon donut, one of Voodoo’s most popular. And damn, if I didn’t take him up on it (and I didn’t even wait for the double dog dare!), although I was scared because the sample maple bacon donut sitting in the display case looked excessively old and crusty. But Beardy pulled out a “fresh”(?) maple bacon delight from the back, bagged it with Chris’ raspberry jelly donut (wimp!) and we were off.

Let me just say that many of you may know that I don’t eat mammals much anymore. For the most part I stick with chicken, turkey, non-mammal seafood, and anything else without nipples. However, sometimes I let my cravings get the better of me and break down when it comes to eating piggy products. Bacon and sausage, mostly, but sometimes ham. I just can’t help myself because it’s so friggin’ delicious. Regardless, I had a bit of trepidation when confronted by the maple bacon donut bar in my dining room. Granted, the bacon looked crispy and not overly fatty or chewy…and I do like McGriddles (my one yearly McDonalds breakfast purchase), so I crossed my fingers and chomped. Hey – it was pretty good! The taste was rather pleasing – a nice combination of salty and sweet, even if the texture was a bit surprising (crunchy bacon with creamy donut??? hmmm…). I’m not sure I’ll get it again, but it was at least an experience.

You should definitely check out the Voodoo Doughnut menu and perhaps try a taste adventure of your own. Or at least purchase a t-shirt that says “the magic is in the hole”. Yummy!!!

This Peep Show’s Not Free, Folks…

Posted in Blogging, Humor by

Hey! I think I’ve been doing pretty well with maintaining my New Year’s promise to blog more frequently. Wouldn’t you agree? Yes? Alright then. Now that we’re all on board with that, let me ask you this. What’s up, people? You think you can just read my blog and get free laughs without having to do anything for them? There is no free lunch my friends, so listen up. Blog participation is a two-way street! I’ve had my blog-follower’s list up for over a month now, and get this…I have no followers. Does this mean that no one is reading my blog? No, it can’t be, because at least 7 of you people have voted in my latest poll (thank you!). So here’s what you can do for me: 1) sign up as a Marcilicious blog follower (it’s easy to do – just click the button on the right side of my blog, below), and 2) vote in my polls (there are just a few days left for this one). Easy right? Almost as easy as just freeloading entertainment from my blog anonymously…ha ha ha!!! Feeling guilty yet? Yeah, I thought so! :oP

Snowmageddon? Really?

Posted in Career, Entertainment, Me Me Me!, Music and Dance, Travel by

Are we really calling the storm that struck the East Coast over the weekend Snowmageddon now? Come on – yeah, some flights were canceled (uh, mine in fact), but really…I’d hardly say that the storm resulted in an armageddon-like disaster. Maybe we should ask the people of Haiti to chime in on this one? Did their natural disaster get a fancy nickname yet?

Yeah, ok, Dulles got some snow, but it’s not like they’ve never seen snow before. Wimps.

At any rate, yes, I had a flight scheduled on Sunday to Dulles (Washington, D.C.) so that I could take a course entitled “Resource Management Implications of Climate Change” at NCTC (the Fish and Wildlife Service’s National Conservation Training Center). NCTC is in Shepherdstown, WV, which is about a 2 hour drive from Dulles and apparently currently inaccessible…so the course was generally canceled as well. About 7 brave souls managed to survive Snowmageddon and reach NCTC mostly unscathed (not sure how many emergency amputation were performed yet…news comes slowly when communications are down), so some of the sessions are being broadcast over the web, which I get to watch from work (which is what I’m doing right now…). On one hand I was really looking forward to the course (and racking up almost 16 hours of travel comp time – woo hoo!!!), but on the other hand, I was really not looking forward to spending almost 16 hours of my own time traveling. Luckily, I found out that my flight and course were canceled Saturday night, so I didn’t have to drive to the airport at 5 am on Sunday to get that bit of news. I was very tempted to just not show up at work this week to see if anyone would figure it out…but in the end, my conscience won the battle and I decided to report for duty.

On an unrelated note, I made my modeling debut a couple of weeks ago for a bellydance-wear company here in Portland. It was a lot of fun, but I think some of my pictures turned out better than others. For most of the photos I was wearing this humongous coin bra that made my boobs look incredibly huge – really, I’m more of a B cup kinda girl, and not the FFF that the coin bra makes me out to be. So, to satisfy your curiosity, here’s a photo that will also be featured on the back cover of Yallah magazine next month.

That’s me with the incredibly goofy look on my face and ginormous-looking boobs in the middle of the bottom row. But in case you’re wondering, I’m still dancing, still love it, and am getting a bit less sucky at it! :o) This is mostly due to the constant encouragement, guidance, and entertainment provided by one of my instructors, Ziggy (top left, yellow skirt).

MLK Holiday Weekend in Newport

Posted in Travel, Vacations by

A holiday for me? Awww, shucks – you shouldn’t have! Why, yes, my name is Marci Leah Koski. Oh. Ok. Martin Luther King, Jr. I get it. I still get a day off from work though, right?

Hell yeah! Chris and I took advantage of the three-day weekend for a little trip to the coast. The weather was fairly cold, windy, overcast, and rainy, but what could be better for a snuggly visit to a B&B in Newport? We headed west from Portland, stopping in Depoe Bay to watch the storm waves come in and manifest themselves in spouting horns:

The coast was very beautiful but we were very wet by the time we got to Newport. We stayed at the Green Gables B&B – we could see the ocean from our Turret Room, and after settling in a bit we went out to the waterfront for some dinner at Rogue Public House. Chris and I debated the restroom designation system (are girls barley or hops?) enjoyed chowder, beer cheese soup, and bruschetta. Chris also enjoyed the Yellow Snow, which necessitated him testing the restroom designation system. After that we went back to the inn and watched a couple of movies – by then, the storm was really howling, complete with lightning, thunder, crazy wind, and horizontal rain.

The next morning we were supplied with delicious quiche and fruit bread, then we were off to the Oregon Coast Aquarium, which was really fantastic. The displays were really beautiful, and we took loads of pictures. We managed to get yelled at for touching sea creatures by a couple of volunteer attendants (they looked like they were in touch pools, ok???), but we got out of there before we started any real trouble.


After that we drove back up the coast, stopping at Cape Foulweather to check out the fortune teller, world’s largest insect, and penny smasher. We ate a quick lunch at Mo’s (chowder and grilled cheese sandwich – yum!) then headed back east to the city. I had a fantastic weekend, but it was entirely too short! I guess I’ll just have to look forward to President’s Day…

Here is a photo album of all my pictures from the weekend; check them out!

My Blog Shall Not Be Forsaken!!!

Posted in Me Me Me!, Updates by

Let’s see – it’s mid-January and I’m already on my second post of the year. Not too shabby, in comparison to last year’s blog, but we can do better, don’t you think? I haven’t forgotten about my Ultra-Marcilicious blog – fear not! I’ve been waiting for a brilliant idea of what to write, but I’m sorry to admit that it’s probably not gonna happen today. Honestly, I haven’t taken any pictures or done anything that you would care too much about. I’ve been going to belly dance classes regularly, the odd burlesque/cabaret workshop, and hanging out a lot with Chris. Life has been good!

I have, however, put together a little share site on Shutterfly so that you peeps can easily see pictures and photobooks that I’ve assembled. It’s still under construction, but functional to a certain degree. Want to see it? Go here: http://marcikoski.shutterfly.com/

I’ll be taking a little trip this weekend, so hopefully I’ll have some new pictures to post soon. In the meantime, have a fantastic MLK weekend (wow – those are *MY* initials!), and send good thoughts down to all the people in Haiti. I’ve been having a hard time tearing myself away from the news articles and pictures of that whole scene…please donate and help if you can! Any little contribution can help save a life at this point (text HAITI to 90999 to make a $10 donation to the Red Cross – it will be billed to your cell phone).

Fancy New Year, Fancy New Grand Aspirations!

Posted in Animals, Blogging, Cats, Entertainment, Music and Dance by

Ok, first off, let me tell you that I re-read yesterday’s post and I fear that I may have gotten a little overexcited. Whoa, there, cowgirl! I mean, who doesn’t want to read more snarky blog posts, see more scandalous photos, view more titillating videos, and whatever the hell else I led you to believe you’d be seeing more of in A Very Marcilicious Blog in 2010?

Well hold on to your pants, friends, because I’m STILL overexcited and STILL determined to bring you more, better, extra, and super-sized Marcilicious blogging! In fact, you’ll notice that the header now says “An Ultra-Marcilicious Blog”, which I hope it remains. Of course, this is still A Very Marcilicious Blog (how could it be anything else?), so no need to update your links or worry your pretty little head about that. But in my effort to come up with *some* sort of New Year’s resolution (which I hate, because they always end up broken and/or forgotten by January 7, usually entail something to do with weight loss and/or body image, and encourage you – in this case me – to screw with something that ain’t broke in the first place. I mean really, why mess with perfection???) I decided that my blogging could use a little rebirth. So lucky you! Fancy new year, fancy new blogging attitude.

A couple of newish things that you might be interested in. First, shortly before I left San Diego, I started taking belly dance lessons. Woo hoo! Much like crows and woodrats, I am attracted to colorful, sparkly, and jingly things, and belly dance costumes are usually crafted out of materials that exhibit these traits. So while I’m still very much a beginner, I’m also very much enjoying prancing about in colorful, sparkly, and jingly hip scarves, letting my ass do what it does best (uh, that would be jiggle). I’m still having trouble getting my upper half and lower halves to communicate and work in some sort of coordinated fashion (boobs, meet ass; ass, meet boobs – pleased to meet you!), but I’m enjoying taking lessons, laughing at myself, and actually feeling fleeting moments of pride when I get something right. I have also learned that I am *not* actually the least coordinated person on earth! I’ve spent WWAAAYYYYY too much money on belly dance clothing and accessories, but I consider it a Christmas gift to myself, and a way to keep me motivated to continue dancing.

The other new item is the acquisition of a new kitten!!! Even as I type, she is attacking my hands, trying to eat the laptop power cord, scratching at the mouse as it moves across my monitor, and performing other simultaneous feats of mayhem. I named her Abbey, after Edward Abbey, who famously wrote The Monkey Wrench Gang. Abbey, I quickly learned, is quite the monkey wrencher, and I’m certain that if I were to let her loose in the desert southwest there would be numerous dam breachings, construction accidents, and general chaos in rapid time. So we’ll just try to keep her contained in this here little apartment in Portland, ‘kay? I got her from the Portland Humane Society when she was just a little thing – maybe 10 weeks old – and she was so tiny and cute. Below is the picture of her they posted on their website – I immediately called and placed a hold on her. Doesn’t she look innocent and precious? Who knew that such a menacing evil lurked within??? Let me tell you who knew: Jesse. Although, within two days, Jesse was letting her curl up with him to sleep, and even suckle off of him (as the below video shows). He looks at me and says, “why? why? why does this kitten think I’m her mother??? why did you do this to me???”

Anyway, happy new year – I hope that the new one brings you happiness, contentment, adventure, good health, and more things to read on this blog, dammit.