Category Archives: Home Life

Now *THAT’S* what I call a Couch!

Posted in Home Life, Me Me Me! by

I recently decided that I need a couch. In Pennsylvania I had a small fold-out couch from Pier 31, which Jesse destroyed in Colorado with his powerful stank-pee (good riddance though – it was really an uncomfortable sofa!). Then, while I lived with Steve, we had this awful plaid couch that smelled like dog butt and was getting torn apart by various animals. When I moved to California, the only thing I had to sit my ass on was an old green armchair that was going to be thrown out by the Fort Collins Mariott. I was so sick of sitting on this uncomfortable old chair that I said “screw it! I don’t care if Teddy is going to stink up a new couch, or Zoe will shred a new couch, or Jesse will pee on a new couch! I want something to stretch out on and lounge around on during my time off in front of the television watching reality tv shows!”.

So, I took a trip to the local Jerome’s Furniture store and ordered a REAL couch. A few hundred dollars worth. Plus a 5-year fabric warranty, which does cover pet pee and doggy drool. I swear it did not look this big in the store, but here it is, in all of its cushioned and pillowed fancy fancy glory! It’s huge! It’s a behemoth! A monster! It takes up my whole living room, but that’s ok, because I’m not going to be in this little apartment forever. It has been almost a week and it has not been smelled up by dog butt, Jesse pee, or marred by Zoe claws. So I’m pretty good so far…knock on wood…

Fight! Fight!

Posted in Complainments, Home Life, Me Me Me! by

Today I received complete confirmation that I do, in fact, live in the Ghetto with a capital G. At around 6:00 this evening I was sitting in front of the TV chowing down on my KFC, as that’s what people in the ghetto eat, when I heard all this yelling coming from the apartment right next to mine. I turned off the volume to the TV and started paying attention – the yelling increased, and then a woman started screaming her head off. It sounded violent enough (my apartment even shook a couple of times with all the throwing-of-various-heavy-objects that was happening next door) so I called the cops. I took the opportunity to act like real white trash and go out to my balcony and watch the scene. The screaming and yelling continued until six cop cars showed up (what else are the cops going to do on a Tuesday evening?). In about a minute they had four guys in handcuffs and had taser guns pointed at them and everything. The girl that had been screaming kept telling the police “it’s ok – they’re friends and they’re not fighting anymore. They’re just drunk…”, like the cops would go “oh, alright, I guess we can move on then, right boys?”. Anyway, they arrested one guy and he was totally messed up – I think he had been tossed down the concrete stairs because his back was covered in a bloody bruise, and his head had taken a beating too. I don’t know why the other guys weren’t taken in as well – they were bloody messes too, and they were all drunk and gangsta-y. Here’s some photo journalism for you, taken of the parking lot from my apartment. It’s just a few of the cop cars, but you get the idea.

On the plus side, I finally bought a REAL couch! It will be delivered on Saturday. Suede micro-fiber, full sized, overstuffed, with lots of comfy pillows. I hope no one shoots a gun through the wall and hits my new livingroom showpiece with a stray bullet. Good thing I got the 5-year fabric warranty…

I’m on it this year!

Posted in Home Life, Me Me Me! by

One of my favorite things about Christmas is seeing a tree completely loaded with gorgeously wrapped presents underneath. And wow, am I on top of things this year. I’ve finished my holiday shopping! I’ve wrapped everything! I’m mailing stuff out today!  There is, however, one problem. You see, all those lovely presents under my little pink tree are for other people. Not one present is for me! So what gives, homies? Where are my presents??? Let’s get with it, people! Time to show me some love…

 

Fun Fun Update!

Posted in Complainments, Home Life, Me Me Me! by

I love my life soooo much sometimes. In the past month or so, I’ve shelled out $700 for Teddy’s medical bills, $550 for a new alternator for my car, and now this. Here’s what I came home to on Friday:


Supposedly, the drywall guys will be in Monday to repair the ceiling and wall and paint. Hopefully they can get it done in one day and I’ll be through with this mess!

P.S. – On Saturday, my apartment complex informed me that they’ll be raising my rent $60-$100 per month in February. Can you believe that they have the nerve to raise my rent when my ceiling isn’t even fixed??? They clearly have not seen my needlepoint skills (see several blogs previous). I don’t need to be paying nearly $1000 per month for this ghetto. I think I’ll be outta here in February…

Seriously, like I really need this too.

Posted in Complainments, Home Life, Me Me Me! by

I totally live in the ghetto, where your ceiling leaks, collapses, and the “emergency maintenance” person never returns your pages that you’ve been sending him for the past 48 hours. Take a look at the fun fun fun progression of events!

Wednesday morning – after a small rain, my ceiling started looking ugly and began dripping. I tried paging maintenance two times the evening prior, and once in the morning.

Wednesday evening – supposedly, the plumber fixed a leaky pipe in the attic. The ceiling was still leaking when I got home, but later stopped. A nice crack developed. The office attendant said it would “take a while” to get the ceiling repaired and painted.


Thursday evening – the cracks are getting bigger! I’ve heard nothing about the status of the ceiling repair.

Thursday evening, five minutes later – holy ghetto, batman! My ceiling collapsed, and there’s crap everywhere. I tried paging the maintenance person again (nothing), then called the security company, who said they would contact the apartment manager. That was at least an hour ago and I’ve heard nothing.


Just a fraction of the rubble I get to clean up – soggy drywall, paint, cardboard, insulation, solder shards from the pipe, a valve handle, and a wet rag, all of which fell out of the ceiling. Teddy Bear is having a blast sniffing various bits and pieces and dragging them around the apartment.

Sigh…

Dia de Los Muertos!

Posted in Animals, Home Life, Me Me Me!, Non-cats by

I love Halloween – it’s undoubtedly one of my favorite holidays. Unfortunately for Teddy Bear, it’s one of his least favorite holidays because 1) he’s not allowed to eat any candy, and 2) I get to dress him up in fun costumes. This year, he participated as Darth Teddy. It was either that, or I cover up his cone and the rest of his body with aluminum foil so that he could enjoy the holiday as a satellite dish. I figured he’d disagree with the former idea a little less, so we went with that one (by the way, Teddy just got his stitches out and is now cone-free). I managed to cobble together a pretty decent pirate costume together at the last minute, mostly from pieces gathered from my closet (hmmmm…). I wore it to work – about ten or so people dressed up for Halloween, and everyone else just laughed and pointed fingers. Oh well – I had fun. We also got a TON of trick-or-treaters – hardly any candy left at all!!! Which means that I won’t feel *too* guilty finishing off the leftovers. I hope you had a great All Hallows too!

It’s Like Christmas in June!!!

Posted in Home Life, Me Me Me! by

Ok, so I’m still trying to catch up on my blogging. Some of you may know that I’ve recently moved – I’m finally out of my mom’s place (leaving 50% of the animals behind, thank goodness), and into my own little apartment. Unfortunately, I had to move the day before I had to travel to Denver, which I will write about in the next blog. Not having very much time, I hired movers to get my stuff out of my storage unit and into my new place – it was a little pricey, but they sure didn’t just sit on their asses, complain about how heavy all my boxes of books were, and demand pizza and beer. They were actually very quick, and got all my stuff up to my 2nd floor apartment in under four hours! And so far, I don’t think anything is broken or missing. So it was a good deal for me. I still had a bunch of stuff left at Mom’s house to take over, but I dealt with that when I got back from my trip the following weekend.

Here are some pictures – the first one is the outside of my apartment – 2nd floor, big balcony. It’s a small apartment, and I’m appalled that for the same money, I could rent TWO apartments of this size in Colorado. But I’m paying a lot less living in Escondido compared to Carlsbad (where I work), which is really outrageous. Even though it’s just a regular place, it’s all my own, and my things are out of storage! Woo hoo!!! And, there are some nice features – vaulted ceilings, a huge walk-in closet, a good sized storage closet on my balcony, a pool/hot tub, and I even get a free gym membership (anyone want to take bets on whether or not I’ll actually ever use that membership?). It’s a nice neighborhood too – lots of greenery, with a creek running through the back, and it doesn’t feel too ghetto. So I guess I made a good find. The second picture features just a small fraction of the boxes that were waiting for me when I returned from Denver. I think Santa left them there for me!


It’s Alive!!!

Posted in Complainments, Home Life, Me Me Me! by

Yippee! The electrician that came over today took nearly 7 hours to find, diagnose, and fix the problems of yesterday’s turmoil (see post, below). The good news is that my tv was not fried! Unfortunately, the dvd player, vcr, and stereo did not make it. So I had to go out today and buy new ones! I got pretty good deals (I won’t tell you where I went because I’m so ashamed of myself, but it rhymes with “Almart”) on a combo dvd/vcr and stereo. So I’m good.

And now here’s something to cheer YOU up:

So my tv blew up today…

Posted in Complainments, Home Life, Me Me Me! by

Sad but true, I came home this evening to partake in my usual Sunday night VH1 Celebreality extravaganza (a triple treat consisting of “The Surreal Life”, “My Fair Brady”, and “Breaking Bonaduce”) and discovered that my entertainment center (a.k.a. my entire world) was on its way towards self destruction. I pushed the power button on my tv and nothing happened. That’s odd, I pondered, my tv has always been such a reliable friend. Goodness – my vcr, dvd player, and stereo also all appear to not work. I figured I must have blown a fuse so I called Mom over to show me where the fuse box was.

While I waited for Mom to arrive, I strolled out into the living room, only to see that an evil poltergeist was turning on some of the lights in the house, making them brighter than usual, then turning them off after a few seconds. Odd indeed! By that time, Mom was at the door.

Pop pop bang bang!!! We went into my bedroom and found my stereo and vcr smoking. I quickly unplugged the whole power strip and momentarily mourned the loss of my stereo. Well, it was cheap anyway, so no terrible loss there. And my vcr had been eating my tapes, so as far as I was concerned, it deserved an inferno-like demise. But what about my tv? My dvd player? They did nothing wrong – they were innocent victims of some evil eletronic surge that sought to rip all that I love in my life right out from under me…oh, the humanity!!!

The SDG&E repair guy that hustled out disabled the circuit, so I sit here blogging to the light of two candles. I have electricity in the living room, dining room, and most of the kitchen, but I’m under black-out conditions everywhere else. I get to call some electricians out tomorrow to fix the problem – pray, please pray, for the safety and well-being of my tv and dvd player. I’m certain the stereo and vcr are toast, but if the others are fatally injured, I…just…don’t…know…what…I’ll…do…………