Round Two: Another Post about Bras – Let’s Get Ready to Grumble!

Vintage Bras

Wow – we ladies certainly love our boobs, and have strong, loud and opinionated voices when it comes to protecting our options.  Whether it’s breast-feeding in public or the injustices brought about by ill-fitting and unflattering breast support, it seems that, when it comes to boobs, we’re ready to rumble.  Or grumble, more like.  In fact, the post I wrote about a month ago called “Bra Shopping:  Not as Titillating as I Had Hoped” was my most commented-upon post ever, since starting this blog back in 2005.  I received a lot of comments through Facebook, and was even offered custom assistance from a personal shopper who works in the lingerie department at Nordstrom’s.  Thank you so much for reading my rant and telling me how you feel regarding your own bra-shopping experiences!

Looks like I'm not the only one confused by bras.

Looks like I’m not the only one confused.

When it comes down to it, bras are pretty confusing.  Not the concept, of course – just give us something comfortable and pretty that can help stabilize our ta-tas.  Where this becomes troublesome is in the details.  For example:  Why the awkwardness – why is the clasp in the back?  Why so few sizes that are either pretty or sexy; do the physics of bra construction prevent the use of color, sparkles or texture?  And why the discomfort?  Why, oh for the love of god, WHY is METAL WIRE with STABBY ENDS a component of ANYTHING that comes near our boobs?  Where did we go wrong???

In addition to the problems I outlined in my previous post, a number of you wrote about issues that seem to be common when we go to the lingerie department.  Here are a few of your comments:

  • Linda wrote: “besides color and poor construction, why does almost every bra out there in larger sizes have padding in the cup???”  I know, right?  It seems like most “every day” bras now come standard with padding or are push-ups.  That’s not my idea of every-day comfort.
  • Amy echoed the above sentiment and added “I need a strap that doesn’t roll but hopefully doesn’t look like something out of a 1940s Sears catalog”, and I agree!
  • And Jessica also made a very good point about cost: “I take great issue with the fact that all the cute, frilly bras in the smaller sizes are always so much cheaper. I realize that it takes sturdier construction to hold up a larger chest, but come on. When they are three or four times the cost of all the other bras out there and still plain black, neutral or white that is just absurd. It is not that much extra fabric.”
  • But it’s not only the more curvy girls among us who have complaints; I heard quite a bit from the smaller ladies as well.  Susan wrote, “Try shopping for 36A, also known as the 36nipple. I do not want an underwire, I want comfort…is that too much to ask?”  Yes, yes it is, Susan.  Just. Too. Much.
  • And it’s not even just the women, the men have something to say too.  Ken passionately stated, “This injustice will not stand! I want everyone to have fun underthingies that fit. Seriously, why aren’t the manufacturers responding to the market that clearly needs a product? Do it for the boobies!”  Thank you, Ken, for your (ahem) support!

The fact is, we women like to think that every single one of us has broken the mold in some respect.  We like being individuals, unique, interesting, different from everyone else.  And when someone tells us that we have to force our boobs into something that is, well, molded to a few specific shapes and sizes, that rankles us to the core.  Truly, when I look back upon the history of the bra, I can’t say I’m excited for the future.  If they haven’t listened to us by now, when will they?

Gas Mask Bra

Well, I guess we’ve got priorities. At least it’s pretty!

Taking Bets Now: How Long Will I Last in the 30-Day Ab Challenge?

Recently, several of the ladies in my roller derby league (the Storm City Roller Girls) have been doing 30-day fitness challenges. Last month it was squats.  This month: the 30-day Ab Challenge.  To be sure, off-skates strength and endurance training are an important component of being physically fit and will make you a more successful skater for your team.  So why did I join this month’s challenge?  It sure wasn’t because I love situps.  Maybe it was the camaraderie?  A temporary moment of delusion and hope?  I can’t figure it out.

Anyway, here is the challenge.  Today is March 3.  My 30-Day Ab Challenge to YOU is this:  successfully guess how long I last in the challenge, and you will win a prize.  The prize will most likely be a virtual box of kittens (all the cute, none of the poop).

Some things to consider:

  1. It’s day three in the challenge, and I had to do days 1 and 2 (in addition to day 3) today.  I might not be the most dedicated person taking part in this challenge.
  2. I might be somewhat pessimistic about this challenge.  In fact, I might have to call shenanigans on this whole thing.  Because if I make it to the end of the month and my abs don’t look like the ones pictured in the challenge, I will be crushed.  Someone will have to pay for my lost time and dashed hopes.
  3. This is generally how I feel when I do situps.  I’m the one on the right:

So join in the fun and maybe win a box of [virtual] kittens!  Leave a comment with the date you think I will get to in the challenge; i.e., if you tell me that I will last through the 10th, the 10th will be the last day I actually do the exercises.  Rest days don’t count – pick a day with actual exercise.  And because I can be somewhat sporadic, but still in it, I will keep track and let you know at the end of the month how far I got into the challenge.  Ready?  Go!!!

Kitty Derps

You might not believe this, but my cats are not always completely photogenic.  I’d say, that on average, it requires about 10 derpy photos to get one good photo of any one of my cats.  So here’s my gift to you: a gallery of my kitty derps.  Don’t tell Jesse, Sam, Momo, Oliver or Abbey, because 1) they will be very embarrassed; 2) they might exact revenge by posting a gallery of Marci derps (and there are many, I tell you); and 3) they might kill me in my sleep.  They have tried before; I am lucky to be here.

My Reputation…Dare I Say It? Yes, In Haiku Form.

Today’s post comes to you from The Daily Prompt, which asks:  “Do you have a reputation? What is it, and where did it come from? Is it accurate? What do you think about it?”  I have chosen to answer these questions in the form of haiku, accompanied by illustrative diagrams.  Enjoy!

Since I have five cats
And you have only one, I
state proudly, “I WIN!”

Litter in my bed,
My derby name reflects this:
“Gritty Cat”, crunch crunch.

Two plus three is five
And I was the one with two.
Spouse: Crazy Cat Guy.

I love to snuzzle
and pet my fuzzy fur bombs
Crap, they make me sneeze.

Clothes covered with hair,
White on black, black on white. But
I still want these pants.

“Achooo!  I love you!”
We don’t care, clean our poop box!
We command you, girl.

It’s 2 am; do
you really need food now? Yes,
we will starve to death.
kitty2