Category Archives: Non-cats

Ho ho ho (hey – are you talking about me???)

Posted in Animals, Cats, Friends and Family, Me Me Me!, Non-cats by

‘Twas a quiet Christmas this year: the warm glow of a muted TV, the happy hymns of James Brown’s Funky Christmas playing softly in the background, the smell of apple cider and cinnamon air freshener wafting through the air…and oh yeah…our mayhem-otic zoo of animals trying to destroy each and every present as we tried to unwrap them!!! Chaos reined in our living room, the cats shredding anything with ribbon on it, spacing out on catnip, the dogs trying to see if each package had a squeaky in it. Teddy Bear whining for more dog treats, Michael squawking to get out of the cage, and Leo…lurking in the back room just daring anyone to disturb him while he plotted…plotted for destruction.

Actually though, it was good – Mom and I got lots of great gifts; I think my favorite was an Indo Board that kind of simulates surfing or skateboarding – you have to balance on this roller thing and try not to kill yourself or damage the walls in the house when you fall off and the board goes careening out from under you. I’ll be posting pictures of me with broken limbs shortly…But I also got some PJ’s (thanks for supporting my lounging habit, all), and a watch jewelry box (woohoo! A nice organized home for my Swatch collection!), and various other fun things. After opening all the presents, Mom and I went up to Uncle Danbo’s house where he had bought and prepared a fabulous feast for us – turkey, green beans, cranberry sauce, candied yams, and cornbread. Yum! It was in fact the easiest holiday ever – no cooking, no cleaning up. Merry Christmas to us!

Anyway, we went to see “Memoirs of a Geisha” on Christmas Eve – excellent flick, you should go see it. It’s a little long and the book was better, but still outstanding if you like that sorta thing. And just so you can get a picture of how my weekend went, here’s a photo montage of Zoe during her reign of terror as we opened presents (yes, her eyes naturally have an evil glow about them that the camera captures quite nicely; this, my friends, is the horror I live with daily):

Always an adventure…

Posted in Animals, Career, Me Me Me!, Non-cats, Rights and Welfare by

I just returned home from my first night covering security at the back gate at the Wild Animal Park. The good news is that I managed not to curse over the radio. The bad news is that they didn’t give me a gun. I suppose this was good thinking on their part, but with a gun I might’ve actually had something to do. Let me tell you, not a whole lot goes on at the back gate between five and eleven pm. I think I saw a bunny cross the road, but it was pretty dark out, so it was hard to tell.

On the way home, as I was about to cross a very busy intersection, I saw a rather large dog bounding confusedly down the road. I pulled over my car and called the dog over, and lucky for me, he was pretty friendly and very cute. I then noticed another large black dog that was with him, but no owner in sight. I managed to get Pete (the first dog) into the trunk of my car so that I could read his tag – luckily, there was a number on it, and Pete’s owner answered right away. They’d been looking for the two dogs frantically for the past hour and said they’d be right over to pick him up (the black dog had headed down the road, across the intersection, and I couldn’t go after her). Unluckily for me, as I was securing Pete in my car, I slammed my trunk hatch down on the bridge of my nose, which proceeded to spill blood from the cut. Good thing I’m so prepared and had a first aid kit! Well, the owners drove up right fast, and the guy was an EMT so he checked me out to see if my nose was broken; alas, it’s just ugly. The woman took my name, address, and phone number, and I didn’t even ask her why as my head was still spinning from eight hours of mind-numbing boredom followed by a swift crack to the ol’ noggin. Anyway, they loaded up Pete and I hope they were able to track down the other dog. They were very friendly and very thankful that I called – they both seemed quite distressed, but relieved, too. So I’m glad I could help.

What do you think? Should I tell everyone at work tomorrow that I got cut in a fight at the back gate when I single-handedly stopped lion thieves from getting into the park, or should I just tell them the sad, sad truth? Hard-core, huh?

Mom’s in the doghouse because…

Posted in Animals, Cats, Friends and Family, Me Me Me!, Non-cats by

She’s got a new dog! Yesterday, Mom went to Petco to buy her cat some stuff and came home with a new dog (which indeed is not the “cat stuff” she originally intended to buy). His name used to be Poncho, but Mom is renaming him Bailey. He’s two years old, some sort of border collie mix (I think maybe with Australian sheep dog or something), and seems to be fairly well trained and obedient. A bit goofy, too.

Of course, Leo (Mom’s cat) can’t stand him, and Michael (Mom’s parrot) has already crafted a handful of plans resulting in Bailey’s demise (which mostly involve a lot of pecking and biting). I introduced Teddy Bear to Bailey in neutral territory – the grass island on Fairway Park – and things seemed to go pretty well – Teddy growled, they sniffed each others’ butts, and then ignored each other. However, when Mom brought Bailey into my place, Teddy went ballistic and ran out from under the bed, barking, and charged Bailey. Zoe, my cat, puffed out immensely. Ok, so we have some territory issues, but that’s ok. Things will work out well between the two of them, I think!

Mom seems to be very excited with her new companion, and I hope it works for her. Her house is now officially a menagerie of animals (all of whom hate each other), and if Teddy and I ever stay with her again it’s going to result in some real chaos. I guess we’ll cross that bridge when we have to!

Teddy Bear’s glamorous new look!

Posted in Animals, Non-cats by


Last week I took Teddy Bear in to the groomer’s (The Cold Nose), and he looked so cute I just had to post these pictures. He always looks like a new dog after he gets groomed, and with the hot weather, I’m sure he appreciated the shave. It’s funny – when I take him for walks now, people ask me how old my puppy is. They’re pretty shocked when I tell them he’s 12 years old!

A glamorous look at what being an elephant keeper is all about

Posted in Animals, Career, Me Me Me!, Non-cats by

I was recently given the opportunity to be a temporary elephant keeper, kind of as a reward for doing such a good job with Roar and Snore. I was pretty scared that I wouldn’t be able to keep up with the hard physical work, especially in the heat, but I’ve really enjoyed it. Look at me, all clean in my WAP uniform (not clean for long, though). Those are some of our African elephants, and I am indeed standing in the exhibit. It is pretty exciting to see the elephants up close, and I’m learning a lot about them. My favorite elephant is named Lunguili; she’s the smallest of the herd (besides the baby), the least dominant, and clearly the smartest.

Vus Mus is our newest elephant, born February 23, 2004. He’s very cute, but he’s a little rat – he steals elephant pellets from the other elephants’ mouths, and will do just about anything to get your attention. What a ham!

Did you know that elephants are hind-gut fermenters? This means that 50% of their food goes in one end and out the other. Which is what 75% of my job is all about.

My Furry Family

Posted in Animals, Cats, Non-cats by

Below are some pictures of my immediate family, namely my cats Zoe and Jesse, and my dog Teddy Bear. I love them tremendously, even if they are a major pain in my ass most days.

Zoe (left) and Jesse (right) are my two cats. Zoe’s main job is to wake me up in the middle of the night by licking some of my exposed skin until I’m in pain and bleeding. Jesse likes to yank my chain by peeing in the hallway, outside of his litterbox. Oh, those madcap kitties! Full of hijinks and shenanigans!

This is Teddy Bear. He usually looks like he’s been up to no good. In this case, he doesn’t want me to know that he’s just consumed all the cat food I’ve put out for Zoe and Jesse. Additionally, I’ve recently discovered that he likes to snack on cat-box “leftovers” (which may partially explain the bad breath). But I love him despite his whininess and voracious appetite.