Writing 101: Keyboard Diarrhea turns into Discourse about Social Media Needs of Pirates

Today is June 2, 2014.  This is the first day of WordPress Blogging University’s Writing 101: Building a Blogging Habit.  The course has daily assignments every weekday in the month of June, and I have decided to take part in this course / challenge / masochistic experiment, since I haven’t had a whole lot going on since the A to Z Blogging Challenge concluded at the end of April.  Today’s assignment for Day 1:  free-write a stream of consciousness for 20 minutes.  And of course, every assignment also comes with a twist: today’s is to actually publish the results of the 20 minutes of free-writing (lucky you!!!).

So, here is today’s keyboard diarrhea.  I generally feel like blogging can be a very narcissistic activity (as I’ve said before), and I worry about turning readers off with an “all about me” attitude.  But, I guess you’re here for a reason (or not here, in which case you’re not reading this so I don’t even need to worry about it), and I’m going to assume that you’re being entertained on some level.  But is it my purpose in writing here to entertain you?  Well, I guess it is!  At least partially, I think.  Crap. 14:18 to go.

I’m writing during my lunch break today, which is something I try not to do, because I can get wrapped up in the details and minutia of writing a perfect post that is perfectly formatted with perfectly appropriate pictures.  But today, since I’m limited to 20 minutes (now 13:12), I feel like I really can take advantage of my lunch break.

This is what I look like today.

This is what I look like today.

And speaking of work, this morning someone that I encountered laughed as we were passing and asked me if I am a pirate today.  Well, of course I am!  My answer:  yep, yo ho ho and a bottle of rum.  But I was thinking about it – was the question based solely on the fact that I’m wearing a bandana on my head today?  It’s not like I’m wearing an eye patch (although that would really help to solidify the pirate look).  I am, however, constantly muttering “argh” under my breath and attempting to pillage the office supply room.  So maybe the question was based more on the general vibe I’m giving off?  I don’t know.  At one point, I took a quiz that revealed my pirate name as “Iron Mary Flint”, which I rather enjoyed and altered to “Iron Marci Flint”.  And, I do respect “Talk Like a Pirate Day“, although I really suck at talking like a pirate, aside from the aforementioned much-practiced “argh” phrase.  And, living in the Portland area suits me, I suppose, because they are very pro-pirate here, even having a Pirate Festival once a year on the muddy banks of the Willamette River (although I just saw that it’s not happening this year…whaaaa???).  I don’t have a parrot, but my mom has a severe macaw…does that count?  Shit, I really don’t think I’d make a very good pirate after all, but it is a tempting career choice should I decide to switch things up in a few years (I have to get my grad school debt paid off first, though).

How much can a girl type in 20 minutes?  That depends.  I type pretty fast, up to 80 words per minute when I’m really moving along.  I’m pretty accurate, too.  Not sure that’s a skill that would really be needed on a pirate ship, but perhaps in these modern times it could be an asset?  I’m pretty good at the social media thing, too.  Like maybe my band of pirates could have their own Facebook page and Twitter account I could manage.  The job interview would go something like this:

First Mate Pirate In Charge Of Hiring (that’s his title): “So, you call yourself Iron Marci, and you’re applying for the social media manager pirate position?”

Me: “Aye, that be correct, mate.”  (See, I really suck at the pirate talk thing, but I bet I could get better if immersed in a pirate environment.)

First Mate Pirate In Charge Of Hiring: “Ok, well, in 140 characters or less, tell me why you would be the best bilge-rat for the job, or else you’re going to take a long walk off this here short plank.”

Me: “What do you do with a #DrunkenSailor? Find out as I #SetSail on the #LadySpank with @CapnTooth’s crew and 14 #BarrelsOfRum #PegLegsAreHot

First Mate Pirate In Charge Of Hiring: “Yer hired, missy!  Now go swab the deck, and make sure you Instagram that shit!”

Time’s up – see you tomorrow! (And yes, I cheated a little bit, going back after my 20 minutes were up to add links and the picture.  Sorry.)

15 thoughts on “Writing 101: Keyboard Diarrhea turns into Discourse about Social Media Needs of Pirates

  1. Arghhh Matey and yo ho ho – ok that’s the extent of my pirate-ese, but I’m impressed you could spell diarrhea because I wouldn’t have been able to. That would have taken my whole 20 minutes. Love @Jack Sparrow

    • Lol Sammy! I only know how to whip out diarrhea (wow, that sounds really awful, doesn’t it?) because of the Feline Health and Nutrition course I’m taking – we just finished a unit on First Aid, which included how to treat certain symptoms that could be indications of a bigger issue. Of course, vomiting and diarrhea were two of the main symptoms that we covered. Gross. ANYWHOOOOOOO…give my love to Jack Sparrow. He’s welcome to visit my captain’s quarters any time (woo hooooo!!!) 😉 ❤

  2. You managed that well. Those kinds of exercises are fun. That’s how I compose some of my blog posts. I’ve never been much good at talking like a pirate though.

    Lee
    Tossing It Out

    • Ha! I *did* have fun writing this post. I like writing prompts, so I’m interested to see how this Writing 101 blogging event will go. And who knows? I might get the opportunity to brush up on my written pirate-talk skills. Thanks for stopping by, Lee! 😀

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